10 Random Poker Quotes

• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• in the poker game of life women are the rake
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.