10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris