10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.