10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• In order to live, you must be willing to die - Amir Vahedi
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"