10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?