10 Random Poker Quotes

Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
"So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.