10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water