10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.