10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare