10 Random Poker Quotes

• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "No river, no fish."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"