10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes