10 Random Poker Quotes

• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim