10 Random Poker Quotes

• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack