10 Random Poker Quotes

• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)