10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed