10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.