10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus