10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm