10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer