10 Random Poker Quotes

• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.