10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)