10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.