10 Random Poker Quotes

• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright