10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.