10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester