10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)