10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. - unknown
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!