10 Random Poker Quotes

• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.