10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"