10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician