10 Random Poker Quotes

• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.