10 Random Poker Quotes

• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers