10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.