10 Random Poker Quotes

Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
"It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
"That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
God is kind to the underdog! C.A.A
"Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
Welcome to kicker school
"Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)