10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• "No river, no fish."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."