10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986