10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
- Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
- "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em."
Johnnie Moss
- People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
- Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
- See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
- Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
- "I thought it was jack's"
- Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
- Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
- Poker is for loners.