10 Random Poker Quotes

• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson