10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.