10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"