10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• im going to 2 out you to death
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from