10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.