10 Random Poker Quotes

• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.