10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson