10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "No river, no fish."
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I'd rather be good than lucky, I'd rather be lucky than lose...
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare