10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson