10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."