10 Random Poker Quotes

• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986