10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha