10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear